Anger

kita ni kan,
kadang-kadang bila marah, susah nak control.
memang la boleh sabar, tapi selalunya terbawa-bawa.

We'll seems to be dragged by it, for ages and ages.

Susah betul nak jadi orang yang minta maaf dulu.
Walaupun teorinya, yes, kita yang kena minta maaf dulu.
Dalam apa-apa keadaan pun, walaupun kita atau dia yang memulakan.

but...,
somehow, sorry seems to be the hardest word.

yep, true enough.

No wonder, the Messenger s.a.w repeated himself, over and over again.
For there times, to be exact.

"la taghdob!"

And we begin give some childish excuses, "but it's not my fault! It's his!"

"La taghdob!"

"But,...it has been always me who'll give in..."

"la... tagh..dob...!"

"but... fine. Maybe it IS my fault after all.."

haha.
Just trying to imagine how things was. My so-called self--reflection.

And also,
no wonder that Allah ta'ala characterizes the people of muttaq, as the one who

1. engulfs his fire of anger, leaving NO traces behind;
2. and lovingly forgiving each other, for the sake of Allah.

as among the characteristics addressed by Allah in ayah 134 of surah 'ali' 'Eimran.

Such high standard people acquires such high quality.
And the among the qualities of al-muttaqun, those people who constantly, CAREFULLY LIVE this life of the fear to Allah: engulfs his anger and lovingly forgiving each other!

Those are the people that we want to become.

Dan memang susah pun, sebab tu orang-orang muttaq ni saja yang memiliki sifat sedemikian rupa.
Seperti mana yang telah ditunjukkan oleh para sabahat, radiayAllahu 'anhum.

Yeah, no wonder.

As for me, the main reason for me getting the "sorry seems to be the hardest word" feeling is,
my lack of 'amal,
and my richness in faahisyah and ma'siyat.

Seriously.
Sebab apa lagi yang boleh jadikan mulut kita terasa AMAT, AMAT BERAT nak luahkan kata-kata,
walaupun hati dah memaafkan dan menyesal?
Haha..

I remembered once when there something happen between me and my friend at the college.
Not a big deal, though. Just a miscommunication maybe.

At that time, I was sitting besides him. Only two of us. The others have left us behind.
I want to apologize, but somehow, it was indeed, very very heavy to say anything at all.
I was utterly speechless...

Tired of waiting (maybe), he left...

Realizing that I just could not do it, I wrote a blog post, saying sorry for everything...
...(skipping through...)
 And alhamdulillah, he has become one of my best friends (for now =P).
haha.

Oh yes,
And here come the role the third party. To reconcile.
If we could not do it face-to-face, find alternatives.
Texting, emailing, facebooking.. anything.
And remember to invite the third party to help with your problems.

Haha,
I'm getting out of track.

Anyways,

Allah lah pemegang hati-hati kita, sekiranya kita belanjakan seluruh harta satu dunia ni,
kalau Allah tak izin, tetap hati kita tak bersatu.

Dan manusia itu tak lekang dari dosa. Apa yang kita rasa tak kena, boleh jadi peringatan Allah ta'ala untuk kita kambali kepada Nya.

Dan amarah tu sifatnya kepada syaitan. Jadi elakkan inshaAllah.

And i'm the last person in the world who should be writing on this.
As myself is one of the worst "anger-controller" one has ever known.
But for the sake of change, I wrote this down, particularly for myself inshaAllah.

Let's control our anger, haha

=]

(When I began listening to a lot of talks and khutbahs such this, spoken English started to get mixed with written English, and all of the sudden my grammar turns out to be very horrible and terrifying. sorry, haha)

(Nampaknya blog ni macam dulu jugak jadinya....haha. Anyhow, I enjoyed this style of writing, alhamdulillah. May it benefits all of us inshaAllah.)